Former English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the 2003 championship side and lifted numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the disease.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to really process that at the moment," he said.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is certainly a hesitation to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, says instead he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his current health, his family and getting ready for when the condition deteriorates.
"Possibly that's surprise or possibly I process things uniquely, and once I have the facts, it's more manageable," he stated further.
Initial Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the problem, a series of scans showed nerve cells in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately quite moved about it, but it's so strange because I feel like everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't feel sick. I don't feel poorly
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the hand and the upper arm.
"I continue to be able to accomplishing all activities. And with luck that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Development
MND can advance quickly.
As per the charity MND Association, the condition kills a 33% of people within a twelve months and over half within 730 days of identification, as eating and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only delay decline.
"It's never me that I am upset for," added an emotional Moody.
"It's the sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two excellent boys and that was quite upsetting," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced cleaning the drops off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody explained the priority was remaining in the present.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be extremely intensely directed on just welcoming and enjoying each moment now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been truly fortunate that the only real choice I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as possible. We won't recover those years back."
Athlete Link
Elite competitors are disproportionately influenced by MND, with research indicating the prevalence of the disease is up to 600% higher than in the wider community.
It is believed that by limiting the air available and creating damage to motor neurone cells, regular, strenuous exercise can activate the condition in those inherently vulnerable.
Athletic Career
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his courageous, relentless approach to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a practice confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a practice gear and commenced throwing himself into physical contacts.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the throw-in in the critical phase of play, establishing a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning field goal.
Assistance Community
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who led England to that victory, and a handful of other former team-mates about his diagnosis, but the rest will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a period when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the minute, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are available is all that matters," he stated.
"This game is such a great community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to consider your passion your career, it's one of the most important privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so long a duration with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will desire to help in every way they can and I await having those talks."
